We would like to take a moment to share with you all our commitment to creating a community that values consent, love, humanness, and restorative justice. Rather than engage in the divisive and destructive culture that has become all too prevalent in society, we chose to prioritize healing and growth.
A concern was brought to our attention a few months ago regarding a teacher in our community.
Once the matter was brought to our attention, we reached out to our predecessors, mentors, and experienced friends within the greater community for support. They have generously given us their time and resources to help guide us through this process. (Special thank you to Reid Milhalko, those who have contributed to his process, The Bonobo Collective, Anne Moore, and the Blueprint Breakthrough leadership team)
We understand that this incident may have caused concern among our community members. We want to assure you that we take all concerns seriously and are committed to addressing them in a thoughtful and compassionate manner.
We conducted a thorough investigation into the matter involving the facilitator (referred to as ‘Purple Person’), listening to all parties involved that wanted to be heard (referred to as ‘Green Persons’).
Here are key points from our investigation:
The incidents were reported as consent violations.
The incidents occurred between 2012-2015.
The parties involved in both incidents were within the container of a consensual BDSM relationship.
There have been no further incidents reported.
No consent violations occurred at SPR or our hosted events.
The individuals who have agreed to participate in this process (1 Green, 1 Purple) have since sought professional help as a result of their experience together.
The purple person shared how he has shifted since the incidents, “I worked on myself tirelessly... In those 8 years I have not had any of the same types of allegations. As an educator, consent, communication, and personal responsibility has always been important to me but I took it upon myself to constantly teach it and remind others in my sphere of the importance of enthusiastic consent. I also teach the importance of both adults practicing personal responsibility and communicating boundaries and parameters before a scene.”
The green person who courageously stepped forward has stated they “do not need any further support at this time.”
We firmly believe that restorative justice is an effective approach to addressing conflict within our community.
We are pleased to announce that as a result of this incident, we have taken steps to further define what we represent as a community. Examples of these steps include:
Publishing our container agreement statement
Creating an anonymous reporting system
Outlining a process to repair and amends on our website
These measures are designed to ensure that our community remains a safe and welcoming space for all members.
We appreciate the vulnerability and courage of everyone involved in bringing awareness to this matter and participating in the restorative process. We understand that this situation has caused concern and we want to reassure our community that we take these matters seriously and will continue to prioritize the safety and well-being of our members. We know that it can be difficult to address these kinds of situations, but your courage and willingness to engage in the process has helped us to create a stronger and more resilient community.
We hope that this statement provides clarity and transparency on this matter. Thank you for your continued support and participation in our community. We look forward to working together to co-create a better future for all.
Sincerely,
Stacie & Johnny
St. Pete Retreat
May 2023
